Letter of Complaint
Wellington, New Zealand Sri Chinmoy Centre member Budhsamudra was shocked to discover recently that he had been omitted from the most recent issue of Mashed Potatoes, Noivedya of Australia's newsletter of savoury comment. A letter of complaint followed shortly afterwards...
It has come to my attention, following my cursory, per-functionary read of your last issue, that you failed to mention me.
Not that I enjoy your publication, but I like it even less without myself in situ.
I wish to complain. Do you not know who I am?
Stop laughing... you're not funny you know—if you were you'd be able to put together more than 4 pages for an issue—something you could have done if you'd mentioned me at least once (twice would be better).
While I do like to talk about myself, I prefer it when others talk about me, or write about in this case, so I insist that get your act together in short order—perhaps a feature in the next issue, a double page spread, or even a cover with extra large masthead.
Enclosed are a variety of portrait shots of myself, taken from a variety of angles in lighting soft and harsh, which should both raise your tone and readership numbers simultaneously.
That should do it.
Consider yourself warned...